Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
