You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
