They should really pass out barf bags in church
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
