I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i will never coherently bang her
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
