Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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