? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
