And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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