I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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