shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
