dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
