Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
