dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
