I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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