he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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