They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
