Rock
Scissors
Fuck
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
