Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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