Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
