please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
