I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
