i always forget guys have bellybuttons
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
