No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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