please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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