I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
