the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
