Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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