its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
