im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
