all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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