Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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