worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
