I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I am mentally ready for anal.
Drunk is a universal language darling
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
