My girlfriend figured out who you are.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I fill condoms, not promises.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
