VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
