I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
