I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
