That's intense
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
