Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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