Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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