I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
