She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
