Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
