if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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