Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He felt like a one man threesome
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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