It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
