is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
