Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
