Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
