Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize