I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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