Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The air was thick with penises
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize