for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Randomize
