Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
