Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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