Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize