i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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