I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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