I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
