im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
