that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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