doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
