I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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