its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
