remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
