If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
