My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
