STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
