you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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