You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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