it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
