He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
