I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
