you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
