You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
