Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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