Someone shit on the floor
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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