a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
