I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
