i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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