u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's shark week go big or go home
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize