It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
