And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
There r osticjed everywhere
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
