I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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